Tyler Sizemore/Hearst Connecticut Media via AP, Pool, File
The Onion, a media outlet that publishes intentionally false stories labeled as satirical, has acquired Infowars, a media outlet that published intentionally false stories labeled as true, in a court-ordered auction as part of the massive defamation judgment against Infowars founder Alex Jones.
Jones is facing about $1.5 billion in damages from several defamation lawsuits filed by the families of the victims of the 2012 shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School. He had spent years claiming that the shooting was some sort of complex government hoax, including accusing the 20 children and 8 adults who were killed of being “actors” faking their deaths. The families were subjected to years of harassment, threats, and other abuse from Jones’ audience as a result of his defamatory claims.
Oliver Darcy reported the story in his Status newsletter Thursday morning, writing that the deal would entail “The Onion, owned by Twilio co-founder Jeff Lawson and led by chief executive Ben Collins, acquir[ing] Infowars’ website, product inventory, customers lists, social media accounts, and intellectual property.”
Collins urged his followers, “You better fucking subscribe to The Onion. This is the kind of thing we will do with your money. It allowed us to buy InfoWars. Now help us staff it.”
Jones was ordered by the court to sell at auction Infowars and some of his other personal property to satisfy the judgments against him. He had publicly pleaded for an ally to purchase the media empire that he has run for a quarter century, but those hopes were dashed. While the precise terms of the deal are not yet known, according to multiple media reports, the Sandy Hook families agreed to settle for a smaller recovery from the judgment in order to bolster the size of the bid from The Onion.
CNN correspondent Hadas Gold reported that the gun control advocacy group Everytown for Gun Safety had backed the purchase.
“From day one, these families have fought against all odds to bring true accountability to Alex Jones and his corrupt business,” said Chris Mattei, an attorney for the families, in a statement obtained by Status. “Our clients knew that true accountability meant an end to Infowars and an end to Jones’ ability to spread lies, pain and fear at scale.”
“We were told this outcome would be nearly impossible, but we are no strangers to impossible fights,” said Robbie Parker, whose 6-year-old daughter Emilie was killed in the shooting. “The world needs to see that having a platform does not mean you are above accountability — the dissolution of Alex Jones’ assets and the death of Infowars is the justice we have long awaited and fought for.”
Jones posted a nearly two-minute video on X, formerly Twitter, Thursday morning, saying that his lawyers had just called him to say they had met with the U.S. Trustee in the bankruptcy court “and they’re shutting us down, even without a court order.” (This is not accurate.)
He complained that the “Connecticut Democrats with The Onion newspaper” were the ones to buy Infowars and that the bidding rules had been changed. (Again, not how bankruptcy court procedures work.)
Jones said that there would be “injunctions” filed and he would continue to broadcast on other platforms. “I don’t know what’s going to happen,” he said. “But I’m going to be here until they come in here and turn the lights off. I’m gonna say, where’s your court order.”
As for The Onion itself, they published a statement from their mythological leader “Bryce P. Tetraeder, Global Tetrahedron CEO” skewering their new acquisition by announcing that they were “celebrat[ing] a new addition to the Global Tetrahedron LLC family of brands,” describing Infowars as a company that was “[f]ounded in 1999 on the heels of the Satanic ‘panic’ and growing steadily ever since” and had “distinguished itself as an invaluable tool for brainwashing and controlling the masses.”
“With a shrewd mix of delusional paranoia and dubious anti-aging nutrition hacks, they strive to make life both scarier and longer for everyone, a commendable goal,” the statement continued. “They are a true unicorn, capable of simultaneously inspiring public support for billionaires and stoking outrage at an inept federal state that can assassinate JFK but can’t even put a man on the Moon.”
Some mockery of Jones was sprinkled in, calling him “the hapless owner of InfoWars (a forgettable man with an already-forgotten name)” who had been “outwitted” and forced to sell his company.
The statement continued in that fashion, but did make clear that Infowars’ long-running practice of hawking supplements of dubious effectiveness would end, along with some swipes at the company’s conspiratorial views:
What’s next for InfoWars remains a live issue. The excess funds initially allocated for the purchase will be reinvested into our philanthropic efforts that include business school scholarships for promising cult leaders, a charity that donates elections to at-risk third world dictators, and a new pro bono program pairing orphans with stable factory jobs at no cost to the factories.
As for the vitamins and supplements, we are halting their sale immediately. Utilitarian logic dictates that if we can extend even one CEO’s life by 10 minutes, diluting these miracle elixirs for public consumption is an unethical waste. Instead, we plan to collect the entire stock of the InfoWars warehouses into a large vat and boil the contents down into a single candy bar–sized omnivitamin that one executive (I will not name names) may eat in order to increase his power and perhaps become immortal.
All will be revealed in due time. For now, let’s enjoy this win and toast to the continued consolidation of power and capital.
Collins posted additional tweets jokingly asking if “anybody need[s] millions of dollars worth of supplements” and vowing that The Onion would turn Infowars into “a very stupid website.”
This article has been updated with additional information.
