Ex-SNL Star Does Blistering Trump-Vance Barrage On Comics For Kamala Vid — Including Raunchy ‘Couch-F**k’ Joke
Saturday Night Live alum Cecily Strong did a brutal set roasting former President Donald Trump and his running mate Sen. JD Vance (R-OH) on a “Comics for Kamala Harris” fundraising Zoom call — including a couch joke that made Rep. Eric Swalwell (D-CA) lose it.
An X/Twitter user kicked off a social media furor with the false claim that Vance’s book contained a confession that he once had sexual congress with a couch.
There is no such passage in Vance’s book, but the viral tweet sparked a surreal fact-check from The Associated Press that has since been deleted and another by Snopes that you can still read. The theme has been taken up to mock Vance by Trump opponents.
Appearing at a virtual “Comics for Kamala” event Monday night, Strong mixed several couch-themed jokes in with a blizzard of roast-style shots written with fellow SNL-ers, and took turns reading them with Swalwell:
CECILY STRONG: So I reached out to the best joke writers I know, current and former SNL Weekend Update writers, Katie Rich, Josh Patton, and Pete Schultz. So, if you’re still game to do this with me.
…
JD Vance looks like a composite of every guy that’s called you a bitch on Bumble.
REP. ERIC SWALWELL: JD Vance looks like you told ChatGPT to draw a guy who says, “M’lady…”
CECILY STRONG: JD Vance is confusing because his rhetoric wants us to panic about immigrants, but his eyeliner wants us to panic at the disco.
JD Vance has been such a mistake, Trump keeps calling him Eric.
REP. ERIC SWALWELL: But his son Eric, not —
CECILY STRONG: — not you. No, no, no, I mean, he doesn’t know you.
REP. ERIC SWALWELL: I’m not surprised JD Vance is so anti-choice, since having no other option is the only reason he’s Trump’s running mate.
CECILY STRONG: Trump, wearing a maxi pad on his ear, is the most support he has ever shown for women’s reproductive health.
There’s speculation that Trump is unhappy with Vance and is thinking about getting rid of him. But he better hurry because it’s been six weeks! That’s an abortion joke, for everyone thinking about those deadlines.
REP. ERIC SWALWELL: JD Vance has some very strange and upsetting positions, honestly. Just ask his couch.
CECILY STRONG: And you wouldn’t do this one, so I’m going to do it.
REP. ERIC SWALWELL: I’m not gonna do it —
CECILY STRONG: JD claims to be the voice of the Rust Belt, which is only true if we are talking about his belt after he fucks an orange couch.
Rep. Swalwell didn’t want to do that one for some reason.
I like the couch thing because the couch thing finally gave Republicans a taste of what it’s like when you make something up insane and keep repeating it so that it becomes accepted as reality. Like “men competing in women’s sports” or Tim Scott having a wife.
REP. ERIC SWALWELL: Vance is doing so poorly as Trump’s attack dog that he’s going to end up in Kristi Noem’s gravel pit.
CECILY STRONG: Hahahahahahaha! Okay, remember she’s the monster, not us.
REP. ERIC SWALWELL: That’s right.
CECILY STRONG: Yes. Okay, so I don’t know if you heard this, but RFK Jr. recently admitted to dumping a bear in a park. “Samesies!” said Tim Scott.
And I just I wanted to end it, I wanted to bring this up. So Usha Vance today tried to explain away all the crazy offensive shit her husband has said about women, saying it was just a quip which, first of all, that’s — we know that’s not a JD quip, because a JD quip is like, “You can call me a racist for drinking a Diet Mountain Dew.”
But so she did. But she had this quote, which I think it’s important. “For the many of us who want to have families and for whom it’s really hard. What can we do to make it better?”
Vote blue! Keep your husband out of the White House, Usha. That’s what you can do to make it better.
Thank you. Thanks Rep. Swalwell! You wouldn’t do the couch fuck joke, but —
REP. ERIC SWALWELL: Maybe in the re-election.
CECILY STRONG: Yeah.
Watch above via Comics for Kamala.
